Decisions, I hate them!

Decisions are probably my least favorite thing. Okay well let me rephrase this, making decisions for others. You see as a business management major/teacher I am very good at managing and probably even micromanaging (not that this is a good trait at all times), however I really don't do the decision thing. I hate decisions so much that a year ago on Chris and I's first dated I said, "I don't like to make decisions, you should know this up front." Thankfully this didn't scare him off.

As a teacher (and parent for those of you that are) we tend to need to make decisions daily that affect other lives. I mean everyday I am faced with trying to teach my students to make the right choice. Whether it be to walk down the hall and not run, or what goal they are trying to achieve this week in class. I am fine with making these. I am even fine with telling my principal face to face which children I can honestly not feel okay to send on for second grade next year (this is a decision some teachers can't face or wont). As an AUNTIE I can decide what I think is best for E and B when they are with me or if Abby ask me. I think the reason I am okay with all of this is because I know that these decisions are ones that will shape their lives. They are going to benefit positively from these in the future. For sure the reason I am okay with making these IS NOT because I know what is best, but what I feel will help not hinder.

This brings me to my week....this week has been a rough on as I have had to head home to Amarillo and help force a decision upon my grandpa. His health has not being good over the past 18 months and seems to be going down rapidly. In the beginning he was just needing extra help around the house and such, but now it is very clear he must get 24 hour care. Sadly as it is, I have had to come here to help him make a decision he very much is not willing to make. I have had to offer him 2 choices, which in any other case would be easy for me....I do it everyday with my students! This one not as easy I think because I am not only giving him choices, but making his life seem more evident of the end. This is not something my mom was willing to face, as she and my sister had to do it with my grandma a year ago.

Today was a bit rough as I informed my grandpa that he will no longer be able to stay at home on his own with only his day helper. Instead he must have either 24 hour home health or move into a nursing home. As hard as it was for me to be "harsh" and tell him he has this choice to make and it must be done this week, it was much harder on my sister last week. She mentioned to him that he may want to look into more help. With this he simply cried his eyes out telling her how he would have no life in a nursing home....and he doesn't want to waste away like that. Yet he doesn't want strangers coming into his home either.

You can imagine how our conversation went today....as I tried my best to make him understand that this is not a decision I wanted to force upon him but rather allow him to pick between the two so called "evils". He was not happy with the fact that I was even having this conversation with him. Much less that I told him he really had to pick by Friday. The reality is that I a person who hates decision wishes more than ever this was not one I had to make. Yet in the end will have to do so. He spent most of the night kind of quiet; not sure if that was because he is mad or actually thinking the two over. Tomorrow we head out to visit his doctor. I am hoping that she too can help him understand that we are not against him, but only looking out for him. I am also hoping the visit goes better than Monday's, which is why I am now here. I just don't know how it is that we as adults can honestly know what is best for our elderly. How do we know if letting them be at home or in a nursing home is the right choice? What I do know for sure is that for his safety he must get 24 hour care? The problem from here is: Which way would you want to live it out? (and not even knowing how much time that will be for.).....which leads me back to the beginning of this.....................DECISIONS, I HATE THEM!